Let's break an equestrian taboo in 2023

With the year coming to an end I would like to put an idea in your head. See it as a challenge.. My intention is to open the door to a different perspective. I hope you're open for this. It is a long read though!

So one of the things that has always bothered me about the equestrian world is how other horsemen and women are bashed into the ground. And I am not going to lie, I take part in this as well since I am only human. There are riders out there that I like more than others. And yes, I also have a fairly strong opinion about how young talented horses are worked for example. But I also realize that this is the results of what the horseworld has become. 

A commercial one where money makes the rules. 

This is not to blame on a particular rider who is just trying to work their way through it while working with one of the most beautiful creatures we have on this planet. Horses! It takes a lot of mental strength and skills to ride at grand prix level. Although yes, I do have an opinion about what we see there and the quality of movement, the way people train and the concessions one is willing to make in order to win. Again, there is no particular person that can be blamed for this. It's just what the equestrian world and sport has become. 

But we do have a choice if this toxic way we treat each other is how we want to continue to move forward. 

For me horses have not only been a journey of expanding my knowledge about horses and improving my skills. It's also been a journey of personal development. Learning to be more patient to see a horse develop for example. Working on my own insecurities and fears. Learning that some days are not the right days for me to work with a horse because I am too tense or too stressed out about something. If I know I can't be present with my horses I should leave them alone. Period. That this is totally okay was a HARD lesson to learn! 

Over the last 20 years I had so many mentors, teachers, trainers and I've been learning and studying so many different equestrian disciplines and methods. Each brought me something that I will carry with me for the rest of my life in my toolbox. Each person was there to help me through a different challenge and I can only be grateful for it. There are SO many knowledgeable horse people out there! The last decade I took a deep dive into kissing spines and everything that comes with it. But I am not the person to turn to with tendon injuries. I will also not be the person to bring you to the Olympics. I know little to nothing about driving or jumping. I am also not a farrier, a nutriotionist or a saddlefitter. I know a thing or two about it but with all there comes a moment where I need to refer you to a specialist. 

None of my horses would have been helped if I had sticked with my first trainer though. I learned SO MUCH when I moved on to the next one. Also things I would like to forget now, haha! But there are also things I still remember from my first riding school teachers and I realize how lucky I have been with the quality of trainers and horses we had there. Then I wanted to learn more about natural horsemanship and so I did. And then I wanted to learn about western and reining and so I did. Then I wanted to learn about body mechanics because of Pura her back, so I did.. And for each thing I looked for new trainers and mentors to work with. Some with more success than the others.



So with all that being said, I know that I am a specialist in a very specific area. I know that most of my students will 'outgrow' me at a certain point. They won't need me anymore and then move on to someone who can help them with their next level. I am totally cool with that and I hope that when they do, that I gave them enough tools to keep the kissing spine under control and keep their horses happy and comfortable in the work. And if they feel that their horse is struggling that they will listen and act accordingly. I hope that I can connect with more and more trainers around the world that I can refer my clients to for that step. To help them to that next level that is out of my own knowledge. That would be amazing! 

So here is the taboo I would like to break..

When you look at your own yard, riding school or boarding facility you know exactly which people you align with and with who you don't. And this is okay. You're totally entitled to work with your horse the way that feels good to you. If this is different than what someone else is doing then cool. Be authentic, yet fair to your horse! Yet this authenticity is where things seem to get stuck. There seems to be such little respect and also little self confidence to appreciate your own AND someone else's authenticity. 

Let's stop the 'you need to work with or like me or else you don't know what you're doing' attitude.

Everyone is on their own path and may need a different person or way of working than you from time to time. To help them get through their current challenge. As a trainer you will have students leaving you for someone else. Let's stop in 2023 of making this personal. Be grateful that you were able to be a part of someones journey and then if they decide they want to move towards something that is not your specialty, so be it. It's their journey, not yours. It's not that you failed. It's not that your trainer failed if they didn't develiver what you're looking for. It's just not the right match in this moment in time.

Let's appreciate each other for the knowledge or challenge someone brings. Let's be curious in which it's okay to disagree. It's easy to simply say 'I am in a different spot in my journey and this doesn't feel good to me right now'. Let's stop with needing to be right all the time to boost our ego's. If somethings hasn't been sitting well with you for some time, listen to that feeling and find what does! Let's not burn someone to the ground anymore when we make this decision.

Let's grow up!

Because once we let go of that rubbish and open ourselves up to more knowledge and curiosity.. You know who benefits the most of this? Our horses! And yes, this might mean that you figure out you were wrong about something. This is not something that needs to be feared. It means that you're learning. If you're right all the time, you stop learning.

My horses have been my greatest teachers because they always show me exactly what I need to learn more about. My old quarter horse Nikki taught me that growing a deep bond with a horse takes years. Reaven pointed me to horse psychology, Pura to body and biomechanics and Didi is forcing me to learn to be a better leader for a insecure horse. My saddlefitter of all people was the right person in the right place last week to help me with that. 

And eventually all these people that crossed my path made me to be the person I am today. Which you may like or you don't. 

No we don't have to allow abuse because of someone else's journey. Of course we should be able to speak up. And yes, we should also be open to hear that sometimes you need to stop doing what you're doing because your horse is showing discomfort that you might haven't noticed.

But there is one thing I here and now vow to do in 2023. I will open myself up to learning more and to be more compassionate and respectful to someone else's journey even if it doesn't align with me. I will be more open to listen to someone else's ideas without judgement. I will try to always see the good in what someone is trying to achieve though I will also always challenge people to look at things from a different angle. Leaving space to disagree.

I hope you will do the same to make the equestrian world a friendlier and safer place.

I wish you all a very merry christmas and a happy and peaceful 2023.

With love,

Sabine